I’ve got a question for you, Garfield. Why the fuck do you hate Mondays so much? I spend my Mondays at work, like I spend my Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. What the fuck do you do all week? You sit around and eat, you fat asshole, so stop complaining. I hope you get feline aids and die, but that would mean you have to get laid and, you know what, I don’t see that happening you fat, lazy, rude ingrate of a cat.