Fuck You, Rufus

Ahh the good old days of Rock’n’Roll when men were fighters, women were lovers, and you, Rufus Humphrey, apparently mattered.  Remember them?

Oh no, you couldn’t possibly.  Because now you’re a busy single dad trying his best, and boy does it show:

• Trashy, whore 16-year-old daughter flees the city after your failed attempts at parenting allow her to lose her v-card to her former rapist.

• Dork, know-it-all son moves from hot blond (your stepdaughter) to arty minority girl next door (your basic stepdaughter), writing/shitting all the way through.  And you’re there to wait at home in neglect, making carbonara for the children who don’t love you.

• Widowed, money-grabbing wife settles after her breadwinner dies, making you the disposable trophy husband.  But you’ve still got your looks…right?

Grab your guitar, your 1-cup gourmet espresso, and your Urban Outfitters pullover and suck a fuck.

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