Oh no, you couldn’t possibly. Because now you’re a busy single dad trying his best, and boy does it show:
• Trashy, whore 16-year-old daughter flees the city after your failed attempts at parenting allow her to lose her v-card to her former rapist.
• Dork, know-it-all son moves from hot blond (your stepdaughter) to arty minority girl next door (your basic stepdaughter), writing/shitting all the way through. And you’re there to wait at home in neglect, making carbonara for the children who don’t love you.
• Widowed, money-grabbing wife settles after her breadwinner dies, making you the disposable trophy husband. But you’ve still got your looks…right?
Grab your guitar, your 1-cup gourmet espresso, and your Urban Outfitters pullover and suck a fuck.